Bits and Pieces

Thursday, June 12, 2003

What Comic Books Have To Teach Us

You know that little Iraqi kid we maimed? Yeah, that's right, we killed his parents too. Anyway, it seems the little scamp should be A-OK. Once we fit some prosthetics to his mangled torso he'll be good as new. Except with big plastic arms and dead parents. Anyway, it's a big PR coup for the Coalition, so a big thumbs-up - no, not you, Ali. We can't afford the arms that come with digits. You'll have cool hooks.

Now I don't have a problem with the fact that we tore off this kids limbs, or even that we butchered his parents and destroyed his homeland. Apparently these things are unavoidable in wartime. Especially when our chosen method of warfare is dropping thousands of cluster bombs from high altitude on built-up civilian areas. No, my problem is superheroes.

Let me explain. Remember how Batman was created? His folks, Tim and Martha Wayne, were killed by criminals. Remember how Spiderman was created? His Uncle Ben was killed by a criminal.

Now, little Ali's parents have been killed by a criminal. He didn't drop the bomb or pull the trigger. What he did was much worse: he gave the order. This will inevitably lead to a whole new generation of 'superheroes', kids without parents to guide them away from evil, who will be taken in by those in the world who seek to harm us. These kids will strap on the bombs and hijack the planes that kill us and our children.

All this will come to pass because our leader forgot that one piece of wisdom that Peter Parker and Bruce Wayne would never forget:

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
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