Bits and Pieces

Saturday, September 10, 2005

How Far Are We Gonna Take The Blame Game?

(AP - Reuters) Almost 4 years to the day after terrorists hijacked commercial aircraft and flew them into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, it has emerged that the atrocities could have easily been prevented.

40 years ago, Congress approved legislation to outlaw the possession of box cutters and other edged devices by Muslims.

The legislation, signed into law by President Johnson, was derailed in 1977 by a lawsuit led by the LABCP (League Against Box Cutter Prohibition).

"If we had kept the prohibition," says leading boxcutter legislator Bobby LaRagu, "those planes would have never been successfully hijacked. The hijackers would have been all, like, 'Everybody stay in your seats! This aircraft has been commandeered in the name of Allah!' and everyone else would have been all 'Well, where's your boxcutter, then?' and they'd be, like 'Damn you American pigdogs and your restrictive legislation!' and that'd be the end of it. OK, so maybe the in-flight movie would have been interrupted during the ruckus, but you can always pick up the plot later on. Or, y'know, rent it at Blockbuster."

LaRagu's view is endorsed by a former key senator, along with academic experts, who say a boxcutter ban is the only way to control the ornery terrorists. The senator, who requested to remain anonymous, remarked "I tell ya, these damned boxcutter nuts have got a lot to answer for."

OK, so I suck at satire. Shut up. Still, exactly how long are we gonna go on with this blame game before we actually settle down and, well, fix New Orleans? I mean, should I go and pick up some popcorn and find a comfy chair? It was 38 years ago that SOWL succeeded in halting the hurricane barrier. I'm not saying environmentalists shouldn't be blamed for many things. Clearly the majority of them are hemp-trousered, dirty haired freaks who'd be ejected from a Hare Krishna sect for being too much of a hippy. Still, it seems ludicrous to attempt to stick them with responsibility for this one.
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