Bits and Pieces

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Journal of the President's Personal Aide


I saw Mr President naked today. The rumours are true. He has a tattoo on his chest that reads 'I'm With Stupid', with an arrow pointing towards his face. It was all I could do not to laugh (especially since he also has a tiny penis - and I mean tiny).

Anyway, here's what we did today
10 am
Woke up the President. He was still tired from an all-night paintballing game with some kids from downtown DC. George used live rounds. Oh, how we laughed.

1 pm
Finally got George to get dressed. He was just wandering naked around the White House for three hours after his shower. Told me he likes to 'air-dry'.

5 pm
George got down to business. He's pretty riled about this whole Saudi bombing thing. He calmed down a little after Mr. Cheney told him Saudi Arabia wasn't a city in Florida. Turns out he was just worried about Jeb. Anyway, George told Dick to send some soldiers over and bomb the place to teach the Saudi's a lesson. Dick said we were friendly with the Saudi's, but that he could bomb Syria after dinner.

7 pm
Tucked George in bed with his soft toys. The little scamp was tuckered out after trying to read a Radioactive Man comic. He just like the pictures.
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