Bits and Pieces

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

And The Results Are In

And the results are in.

1. I have a Kanji tattoo that doesn't say what it supposed'ta.

True. It was meant to read 'child', but an asshole language student told me it actually says 'object'. Now I have to pray I never get suspected of paedophilia, or it's gonna look very bad for me.

2. I once lost £3000 in a day playing Roulette online (and why does Blogger always make that damned symbol when I type the pounds sterling key?)

True. On the upside I won £4000 the previous night. (The moral of the story is 'don't gamble' - but when you do, always bet on black).

3. I once had a job for which my main responsibility was to masturbate. And I got fired.

True. I was doing clinical tests to pay myself through university, and was working with an anti-depressant and its effect on sexual function - which had to be demonstrated, uh, manually. Tip - when testing experimental medication, do not - do not - turn up drunk. Doctors tend to look down on that.

4. I got kidnapped in Australia and dumped in the Otway National Park. In a storm. At night.

True. God damn, that was an uncomfortable night.

5. I was an extra in The Matrix Reloaded.


6. I once dated a tarot card reader. She threw vegetables at me.

True. Tip - while wearing contact lenses, avoid angering young ladies to the point at which they throw garlic cloves at your head.

7. My older brother has, in the past 2 months, suffered from malaria, gastroenteritis and dysentery.

True. And, as if I haven't drummed this in a million times already, you can donate to his marathon fund here.

8. In the past 6 months I have had no major car accidents, but have managed to hit 4 wing mirrors and almost kill the WBU Light Welterweight World Champion.

True. Maybe I should keep my eyes on the road.

9. I worked for the Wall Street Journal.


And the winner is.... Olivia of Inspired by Grace.
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