White Trash Wednesday: UK Remix
I got a cousin called Keegan livin' in America. He's livin' in one of them trailer park things - kinda like Butlin's, but without the Redcoats. He called me the other day to tell me about this thing called White Trash Wednesdays, where loads o' trailer park fellas go mad for it on the Internet every week. I wasn't gonna bother joinin' in, but it isn't Giro day 'til Thursday and I've run out o' wife beater and fags. I'd spend all day lookin' at porn in the computer, but it's never been the same since I saw me Aunt Vi doin' DVDA on 50 an' over dot co dot UK.
So. I don't know what I should say, really. I'm not that interestin'. I'm called Kev. I was born in Salford in Manchester. My dad died just before I was born, but he must really have loved my mam cause he still sends a bit of money every month. Mam says he was in the TV industry, but our cousin Daz told me the closest he got to TV's was when he got nicked trying to rob the Manchester branch of Dixons.
I've got 5 brothers and 3 sisters: Declan, Kev, Keegan, Kev, Jodie, Sandra, and Beckham. We all got different dads, but it works out okay. They're all in the same wing at Strangeways, so it's easy to visit them all at the same time. The guards think I'm fat, but that's just cause every time they see me I've got about a thousand Marlboros jammed down my top. Keegan's dad has to give his mate Bruiser 500 fags a week or he'll lose his ass virginity.
Well, I'm gonna go now. Trisha just came on and our cousin Donna's on today. She's gonna tell her brother Kev that he's the father of her child. It's gonna well kick off.
White Trach Wednesday Patrons:
Hector Vex's Infotainment
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Six Meat Buffet
My Pet Jawa